


Love Lost

by bellas_swan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Battle of Hogwarts, F/F, Pre-Battle of Hogwarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 07:02:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29946273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellas_swan/pseuds/bellas_swan
Summary: A particular duel during the battle of Hogwarts digs out some of Bellatrix's buried memories.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 1





	Love Lost

**Author's Note:**

> For the bigger picture: everything other than things I explicitly changed/made up happens as in the canon.  
> Largely inspired by Bellamione - the girl's name is Emma because I imagine her as a mixture of Hermione and Emma Swan (from OUAT).  
> This is a one-shot but I hope I will develop it into a longer story!

#  **Love Lost**

The eye of the storm. Pieces of stone crumbling from the walls, everything else long gone, the ashes under her feet a reminder of the richness of the castle she once called home. She spits on the floor at the thought, deflecting another fiery attack from the two witches glaring at her with hatred. The Weasley girl and that lunatic Lovegood. Foolish enough to fight with her. She sees through the brave masks, they are afraid of her. A sadistic smile spreads across her face, a condescending laugh that gets lost in the battle noise. It always works, that smile of hers, why are people so foolish? Always shocked at the face of such cold-heartedness, they recoil, just for a moment, a moment enough for Bellatrix to kill. She fires a spell, aiming straight for the redhead's chest, the girl freezes. The pesky blonde witch tries to disarm her, but it is futile. She screams, a high-pitched scream of pure sadistic joy as she casts a killing curse at both of them, she doesn't care who she finishes first. She watches in satisfaction, she got another blood traitor, another peace of scum walking undeservingly on these grounds that should be reserved only for...

She gasps, feeling a strong push back through her wand, white stream of light colliding with her green, letting the girl live. She growls in frustration, directing her anger towards the stranger who just saved her prey. She struggles to see through the dirt and the blinding light. She fights with all she has, but the stranger doesn't back down. She girts her teeth, this feels familiar. Squinting, this time noticing a mane of blonde curls. Not nearly as shiny as she remembers them. Rage washes over her, she wants to kill that woman with her bare hands. No magic. That girl is afraid of magic after all, isn't she. Doesn't deserve it, filth. Bellatrix jerks her wand to the side, breaking their connection. Finally, she clearly sees a tall blonde standing in front of her, wand at the ready, but she recognizes those eyes, the witch doesn't want to fight her. She never did, after the incident. Coward.

They glare at each other, Bellatrix willing her hand to move back up, to kill the witch, but she is frozen. Memories flood her mind against her will, she fights to keep her emotions in check. Her chest heaving, she remembers the first time they walked in this hall, together, they were just eleven. Stupid kids. She was even _sad_ she was sorted into Slytherin, like her whole family, continuing the tradition, and why? Because the idiot she was wanted to be with this mudblood. What was she thinking? She walked these corridors daydreaming about this girl standing in front of her. A mudblood. She is ashamed to admit that she fell for the stupid today's beliefs, that maybe she could have been friends with a mudblood.

Hell, she thought they could be more than friends. She _wanted_ them to be more than friends. How could she be so stupid? A series of pictures flash in her mind in response, she sees Emma's smile hidden behind those curls while they read in the corner of the Hogwarts library until they are kicked out. She sees them dueling in empty classrooms, the pure thrill of the moment. She sees the golden mane spread across the pale chest and burgundy sheets and feels the hands pulling her hair while she is between the witches legs devouring... STOP! She snaps out of it. Idiot.

She pushes this deep down, the newer pictures surfacing. The first time she saw fear in Emma's eyes during their duel. Sixth year. Little filth. Couldn't stand Bella learning about dark magic. Of course she couldn't, scum cannot bear the power. She lets all the hurt and disappointment mold into rage, flashing a dangerous look at the witch standing in front of her, wand still at the ready, beaten up but still fighting. Foolish woman. She will die today, doesn't she understand that?

The sleepless nights of staring into Emma's closed bed curtains, the bruises on her ex's neck she once relished in seeing turning into oozing blood in her mind. Her parents had been right, the girl deserves to die. She doesn't belong in a world she can't embrace, she is too weak. There is no place for her in the wizarding community. Yet she doesn't want to admit it and go to live with muggles, what is there left to do but remove such scum?

"Bella. I'm not gonna kill you".

Still trying to be _noble_.

"Well, that's your grave mistake, _darling_ ".

She twists that last word, hating how she once said it with love, but she doesn't move.

"What is it, why are you hesitating?" - Emma mocks, that same tone she had when she was 14. No. No. She doesn't love her, she was young and stupid back then. She saw reason since.

"I can kill you with a flick of my wrist, enjoy the light of the day while you still can" - Bellatrix growls. Why is she hesitating? Kill her. Just kill her. She looks the blonde in the eye, facing a piercing look that makes her feel almost weak. Not even her Lord looks at her like this. She falters for a second, she thinks she will lower her wand, she hates herself for being so weak. Didn't Azkaban eliminate every last trace of this? She takes a deep breath, she can't do this. A cold-blooded murderer, but she can't. She just hopes someone else finishes the witch instead. She slowly relaxes her outstretched arm, Emma smiling at her, lowering the guard herself.

Something in the corner of her eye catches her attention. She growls, rage consuming her once again. Granger. That mudblood that almost got her fucking killed. Yes, she remembers clearly, they were in the Malfoy manner, she was trying to get information. She should have killed that little mudblood. She tortured her, yes, but not hard enough. She looked at the girl and she remembered Emma, and she was an idiot, just like now, and she just couldn't kill her, couldn't hurt her anymore after she saw her utterly broken on the floor. She felt the desire to kiss her, the pull towards the witch, and she got blinded by her emotions. A moment of hesitation which allowed those pricks Potter and Weasley escape with the brain of their operation. Not only did they call the Dark Lord for Potter and he escaped, they let him escape with the only thing that kept the idiot alive. The Dark Lord was so furious, he almost killed her. She thought she was going to die, screaming in pain of the floor under his feet, crying for mercy, promising to never disappoint again. And here she is, doing it again.

She lets the pure rage take over as she fires a killing curse directly at Emma's chest. The witch reacts instinctively, shock evident on her face, their magic again meeting mid air. She hates the relentless gaze of her former friend, lover, damn it she let that woman be her everything and got betrayed. She will never forgive that. Only one thing on her mind, kill, kill her now, don't be weak again. Her blood boiling, she hears a scream coming from her mouth, it feels foreign, and then she is mute, and it all feels like it lasts an eternity even though in reality it is only a fraction of a second. Her mouth open but nothing comes out, she panics, Emma's eyes on her, worried eyes, she put her wand down, she is coming closer, what is happening. Only then does she register the pain in her chest as she falls back to the ground, the last thing she feels is the touch of Emma's warm hand on her heart, the last thing she sees the glossy green eyes and the raven-haired witch trying to lift Emma off of Belaltrix. She wants to hold her hand one last time but she is tired, so tired and then the darkness engulfs her, the fire that guided her through life extinguished for good.


End file.
